Why Relying on the Unfaithful in Times of Trouble Leads to Pain
Relying on the unfaithful in times of trouble can leave wounds far deeper than disappointment ever can. Scripture compares it to chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot – painful reminders that unreliable people often fail us when we need support the most.
“Like a broken tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in a time of trouble.”
Proverbs 25:19, NIV
This proverb paints a vivid picture of frustration and pain. A broken tooth may seem manageable until you try to use it and a lame foot cannot properly support your weight when you need stability and balance. Suddenly, what should have helped you becomes a source of pain.
That is exactly what relying on the unfaithful feels like.
In Matthew 26:40, we see Jesus facing one of the most painful moments of His earthly ministry. As He prepared to carry the weight of the cross, He found His disciples sleeping instead of praying alongside Him.
“Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, ‘So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour?’”
Even Jesus experienced the sorrow of human weakness and disappointment during a time of deep distress. Imagine how he felt when Judas betrayed Him or when Peter denied Him 3 times?
Maybe you have experienced this in your own life – placing your trust in someone, expecting them to show up for you, to stand firm or follow through, only to discover they could not carry the weight of that responsibility.
People who appear dependable sometimes collapse under pressure. They disappear because they can’t continue the farce when accountability is required. They fail to keep their word or abandon others during difficult seasons. The pain is not only caused by the situation itself, but by the shock of discovering that the person you trusted could not support you when it mattered most.
I want to share a story I heard Rodney Howard-Browne recount. I don’t recall his exact wording or all the details, but here is the essence of it.
Rodney shared how God called him to move to America. Many practical things eventually fell into place, but he still needed a car. Because he had not yet established a credit history in the United States, it was not as simple as just walking into a dealership and financing one.
As he prayed and asked God why the answer seemed delayed, he felt the Lord impress upon his heart that He was now working on the fifth person. In other words, several people before that had already been prompted to help, but they failed to respond in obedience.
Rodney later said that hearing this deeply challenged him because he realised he always wanted to be the first person to obey when God spoke.
That thought is powerful.
Sometimes, someone else’s breakthrough, encouragement or provision may be connected to another person’s willingness to act faithfully and obediently. At other times, we may find ourselves carrying the disappointment of relying on people who failed to follow through when we needed them most.
Relying on the unfaithful can be painful, but it should also challenge us to become faithful people ourselves – people who keep their word, respond with integrity and remain dependable even when it costs us something.
What Proverbs Teaches About Relying on the Unfaithful
The book of Proverbs repeatedly emphasises wisdom, discernment and character. Proverbs 25: reminds us that trust should not be given carelessly.
While Scripture teaches us to love, forgive and show grace, it also teaches us to walk wisely. Faithfulness is proven through consistency over time, not merely through promises, emotion or appearances.
An unfaithful person may speak confidently, but pressure often reveals what is truly in their character.
Jesus Himself taught that we recognise people by their fruit (Matthew 7:16). In other words, patterns matter. Character matters. Consistency matters.
When we continue relying on the unfaithful despite repeated warning signs, we often create false expectations that eventually lead to hurt and disappointment.
The Pain of Relying on the Unfaithful
Many of us know this pain personally.
Perhaps someone promised to help you, only to disappear when life became difficult.
Perhaps a friend, leader, colleague or even a family member failed to stand by you when you needed support the most.
Perhaps someone spoke words of loyalty but their actions revealed instability.
The deeper the trust, the deeper the wound.
This is why the imagery in Proverbs 25:19 is so powerful. A broken tooth and a lame foot affect everyday functioning. In the same way, unreliable people can disrupt emotional, relational and even spiritual stability.
Trust is precious because once it is broken, rebuilding it can take a long time.
See Also: Hope Deferred – 7 Ways to Keep Trusting God in the Waiting
Why Relying on the Unfaithful Often Ends in Disappointment
Sometimes we ignore warning signs because we want to believe the best about people. Other times loneliness, pressure or desperation can cloud our judgement.
But Scripture reminds us that wisdom requires discernment.
Not everyone who sounds sincere is trustworthy. Not everyone who is available in easy seasons will remain present in difficult ones.
Faithfulness is revealed over time through consistency, honesty, accountability, humility and reliability under pressure.
It is far better to recognise who is truly dependable than to build confidence in people who repeatedly prove unreliable.
Psalm 118:8 says:
“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” (NIV)
People may fail us because human beings are imperfect, but God remains faithful even when others are not.
How to Avoid Relying on the Unfaithful
1. Pay Attention to Patterns
Anybody can appear reliable occasionally. Character is revealed through long-term consistency.
2. Do Not Ignore Red Flags
Repeated dishonesty, inconsistency or irresponsibility should not be continually excused.
3. Pray for Discernment
Ask God for wisdom regarding who you trust spiritually, emotionally and practically.
4. Build Your Foundation on God First
Healthy relationships matter, but ultimate security should never rest entirely on people.
5. Become Wise Without Becoming Hardened
Pain can tempt us to stop trusting altogether. However, wisdom is not suspicion. Wisdom simply learns to discern character carefully.
Our Goal Should Be to Become Trustworthy People
While Proverbs 25:19 warns us about relying on the unfaithful, it should also cause us to examine our own lives. Are we dependable when others need us most? Can people trust our words, our character and our consistency?
God does not merely call us to avoid unreliable people. He calls us to become trustworthy people ourselves.
Proverbs 10:9 says:
“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” (NIV)
Integrity and faithfulness are deeply connected. A person who walks in integrity does not live a double life. Their public words and private character align. They do not crumble under pressure or disappear when responsibility becomes uncomfortable.
In a world where trust is often broken, trustworthy people become places of stability and safety for others.
Faithfulness is built through honesty, consistency, accountability, humility, keeping our word and remaining dependable even when it costs us something.
Families rely on trustworthy people. Friendships are strengthened through faithfulness. Churches depend on integrity. Society itself functions properly when people honour their commitments.
That is why Scripture places such a high value on faithful character.
Our goal should not simply be avoiding the unfaithful. Our goal should be becoming the kind of people others can safely rely on in times of trouble.
Final Thoughts
Relying on the unfaithful can bring unnecessary pain into our lives. Proverbs 25:19 reminds us that unreliable people often fail under pressure, much like a broken tooth or a lame foot that cannot properly support us when we need help the most.
Yet this verse is not only a warning. It is also an invitation.
God calls us to walk in wisdom, discernment, integrity and faithfulness. In a world filled with inconsistency, trustworthy people shine brightly.
May we learn to place our trust wisely, build our lives on God’s faithfulness and become people others can safely depend on in times of trouble.
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